She waited in the dark still, silent and watchful. Why was he late? Was he not coming home tonight? He did that sometimes. And he never ever bothered to tell her. But she always knew – for he could never pack without her knowledge. Not much escaped her, she thought with grim pleasure.
So why wasnβt he home yet? One of those late night parties, she supposed. One would think he would know better. What about those dark circles? And when she pointed them out he would get so mad. But that wouldnβt change facts would it?
Like she had accepted that in his line of work as a model, there were others. But it was to her that he always came back, and for her that was enough.
She maintained her calm dignified exterior unruffled by goings on in his life – steadfast and unwavering in her approach. Nobody could tell by looking at her that she was waiting β waiting for his firm tread, the click of the switch, bright lights, the whirr of the fan, the rustle as he changed β perhaps thatβs when he would throw her a glance.
Just a look just a glimpse of him was enough to change her entire perspective. In an instant, her empty existence would be filled with his presence. This was what she lived for as she gleamed and shone in the knowledge that he loved her, relied on her like he never did anyone else.
For it was only in front of her that he shed his mask and showed his real face. And she prided herself in showing him the nothing but the truth unmindful of the consequences.
Today she would show him the tiny white patch just under his ear. No one else other than her had ever seen it.
And no one would ever hear of it from her β not even if he smashed her to smithereens.
Written for the Indispire challenge: Write a love story with no human, animal or any living characters in it! #LoveChallenge
So what do you think? Pass or fail? Did it work?Β Do let me know!
For the readers of Moonshine, hereβs Chapter 65 and Calvin :- Hobbes is still winning Click here for more Short Stories or here for more information About the Blog
Quote of the day: βWhat does a mirror look at?β β Frank Herbert, Chapterhouse: Dune
PS: Have you given some thought to the Story Club? Come on, wake up we are supposed to begin next week! Those who are interested, please drop in your story suggestions and preferred dates of hosting the analysis and discussion – Thanks.
I hate the fear that she lives in. This is the injustice that she is forcing upon herself. I wish she was free while loving him as madly as she wanted to. (This is a response your story has caused me to express sympathizing with her.)
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Thanks Sandeep I appreciate that the story managed to evoke a reaction from you but am a bit chagrined that my oversmart writing obfuscated the other point i was trying to make. This piece was in response to the Indispire challenge – a love story without any human, animal or living thing in it and ‘she’ is the mirror. I wonder if I should rewrite it?
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Dahlia, nothing in the story could give me the idea of a mirror’s love to be frank. I think your personification of the mirror was so strong that I may have been duped into considering the ‘she’ as a woman and not allowing myself to think of anything else, especially, mirror. Probably, it is my predetermination that has chagrined you. But, I feel if you could(have) give(n) away the surprise in your title, rest would have been easy to follow as per your idea. Even the title, makes me feel that the story is speaking of a one-sided desperate love of a woman for a man who’s popular and indifferent.
I am sorry, I did check the link but failed to ask myself as to what is the inanimate subject of your poem. Could have done well, if I did that. Taking nothing away from you.
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I deliberately didnt put the competition rule at the top because I didnt want readers second guessing before i was ready π But i guess that backfired. But in a way I am glad because I did want the mirror to mirror the other kind of love that a woman may have for her man who doesnt care for her – an all too familiar situation. So if I got that right, I am not very unhappy. Besides I knew it was very ambiguous and did have second (several) thoughts about using a more obvious title at least π Appreciate you reading and commenting!
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Yes, I am sorry, I was suggestive there. I think, if you simply speak of the story, I have expressed my sympathetic reaction for the ‘She’. :). So, you can judge how well you have done with the story, for me at least.
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Yesss! – I am very positive that way π Usually do manage to find the silver lining!
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π You work is a refined one and there is always some value there.
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Thank you π
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Interesting. She appears to be OK with his unstated infidelities etc, but secretly hates him, and can’t wait to tell him about a disfigurement that will destroy his career…Also, curious about the challenge you wrote this for- a love story with no human or animal in it. Not sure how this fits in….unless they’re aliens:)
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Oh darn π¦ I thought i had made it pretty clear – maybe I should re-read it – but I did think the last few lines would do the trick. She is the mirror in his room π
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Hey Dahlia! Presenting to you, the Leibster award! π Do checkout my blogspost @ http://3cheers-to-life.blogspot.com/2016/06/leibster-award.html to flaunt the award and take it forward! π
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Brilliant!..’she’ was a woman until I came to it’s end…and then the #love challenge rule and especially that quote of your’s gave the much needed clue….still I had doubts, so I went ahead and did ramanchi :-))…couldn’t resist myself..
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Hehe…since you bothered to read the quote I shall forgive you π
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Lol…Hobbes is still winning…actually he looks very cute with that tie on π
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π
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I too got entangled in the smoke and mirrors that you used in the story. However, I caught the smoking gun just in time. The story trapped me in the first few lines. It was perhaps a two way mirror!
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Ah how nice to see you here π And that’s the best kind – a bit of a confusion but the fog clears just in time to reassure me that i wasn’t completely off π
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Dahlia, I’m in awe of this. I had no idea it was a mirror until I read the comments, and I think that’s brilliant. When I read it again, I saw how perfectly you portrayed the mirror AS a mirror. It seems that’s the genius of this piece, that a mirror’s “love” could be mistaken for the “love” of a woman. I put “love” in quotes because I question whether a love that exists to mirror a man is really love. That’s the beauty of what you did here, to point that out.
My only regret is that it wasn’t clear to me at the end that it was a mirror, that I needed to read the comments at the end. I’m not sure if that’s due to what you wrote or to my failing in not figuring it out. Perhaps, a small hint for those of us who are a wee bit slower.
Love this!
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I really appreciate your warm and generous comments. You should see me dancing π Thanks a lot Kecia. A unique name – at least I have never heard it before
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My coffer is full today π
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Tricky …yet touching, i have to go a long way in my literature resource to be able to understand wat you write in one go…
i shall come back to this story again.
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Thanks Jyotsna π
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Initially I was a little confused. Especially with the line ‘she will show him the white patch…’. Then I read the comments… A mirror? Wow! Never could ahve guessed it. Nice going D!
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π Thanks Pradita ! But maybe it should have been clearer – one shouldnt need comments should it?
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No problemo girl. Btw thus is going live on my blog at 7 tonight π
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Oh myππββοΈπ€
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πππ€
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