A Sartorial Khulasa

Sorry for being absentia for so long – ooo ka hai na I was bedazzled by the sartorial blunder wonder and antics of the VVP yani ki the vishesh Vashisht parivaar not to mention the Rowdy Professor (eeks that sounds terribly like the title of some risqué titillating novel doesn’t it?)

I had just settled myself with a cuppa chai to watch the magic of love unfold on screen. He strode in, not in some chopper (with a blurred out logo), but hiding behind glares and a bushy overgrowth.

I watched in open-mouthed horror admiration as Addu’s hair flew, his feet skidded and he single-handedly held on to the mighty statue of the Lord even though the rope couldn’t help giving a gentle curvy smile simpering at the return of the mighty lord of the idiot box. But that wasn’t all.

Addu wasn’t just some random bushy guitar toting broody guy. He was special, he was different – he carved history when he chalked complicated mathematical formulas in the air in the face of extreme stress and pressure.

To tell the truth, initially I was skeptical about his professorship but time has proved me wrong. Look at all the alien inexplicable gadgets he has up his sleeve – magnetic rubber. 😉 😀

In fact I had made all arrangements and plans to bring this Khulasa much earlier Times my fingers had been frozen in time and space by an alien device.

Sachchi!

Banke Lal ki kasam.

Who daane daal raha tha aur hum kha rahe the – until he let the birds out. Their wings fluttered and they pooped all over the place. Inspired, I flexed my fingers and followed suit 😉

Anyway how do you like the serial so far?

Damn good huh?

It is too and Khushi loves it – yes!

Lipastick ki kasam she does. She is tickled pink and keeps bombarding ASR (not AdvSR) on how similar it is to her life story and how Addu is definitely his doppelganger.

What the!

Come on – Addu is an out and out liar just like ASR was – he keeps screaming and shouting about his nafrat ka junoon and yet he is terrified of one tap on her pretty little head.

If I were AdvSR hell bent on revenge, I would be more than happy for her to bang her way out of existence – his and ours.

But first things first – I was right wasn’t I? Don’t forget you heard it from Kmami first.

Addu is from Mars and this is actually a sci fi show.

Agreed?

Arre maan bhi jao na – baat mano serial bahut enjoy karoge. Sci fi main kuch bhi ho sakta hai – hai ki nahi?

Magnetic soles, pigeons who arrive and poop at the switch of a button and the latest invention – where slipping off a fine dupatta is nothing short of rocket science. It takes a Professor to snap a dupatta out of thin air and make it float and fall anywhere he likes without anyone else noticing or the birds interfering.

And not only that Addu aka AdvSR has the powers to ensure his drug laced noodles are consumed only by the sisters and not his victim – or maybe just enough to nod helplessly when he asks uthaoon Bhagyavan?

Hey Bhagwan – uthla le

Bas ek cheez khatakti hai – IPKKND kuch aur naam ho to aur badiya hota like

IASKKND

Nahi samjhe? Iss Ajeeb Serial Ko Kya Naam Doon?

Kyon? Sahi hai na?

Nahi? Still too close to IPKKND?

Achcha toh yeh wala kaisa rahega?

BAKWAS

Bahut Ajeeb Karname Wala Ajooba Serial

Haan yeh sahi rahega kyonki then they can also change the mangled RV which lashes us with the opening credits giving us heartburn and just go with Ajooba ajoooobaaaa, ajooooobaa aaaaa ajooobbaaaa

Okay now that that issue sorted let’s move on the serial….arre baba itna kyon ghabrate rahe ho?

Chalo chalo main hoon na waise bhi pata hai na – panjeeri toh wahin bat rahi hai….

Okay just a quick recap for those who haven’t been following the latest nayi soch being offered on the idiot box.

There’s one terribly impoverished family (VVP) who live in their ancestral and impossibly large mortgaged White House. But since the CVs don’t like to be too obvious and believe in ‘showing rather than telling’ this particular aspect (i.e. their poverty) is covered under layers and layers of flowing robes of various colors and designs.

It is only when the heaven open up (engineered by the alien professor) that the reality is exposed – tan dhakne ke liye kapde bhi nahi hai unke pass.

Jo bhi paise hain sab sanp ko doodh pilane main lag jaata hai

Bechare…

All the flowing designer robes? That is all culled from the curtains of yesteryears and a bit of clever scrounging at the local tailor not to mention repurposing of old clothes.

Didn’t you notice Chandi’s striped shirt blouse? AdvSR had given his suit to be stitched and the extra bits were siphoned off to the VVP and of course the girls are experts with their needles. Before Addu could say chor chor, she had already worn her blouse and moved on to the next one.

Similarly Mahantji’s red dhoti is made of his wife’s sari while she made a blouse out of his old blue shirt and tucked it over a white dhoti of his – you get the picture right? Aur Gangaji ke ghat par there lots of matkas, broken bangles, beads and stuff floating around to make their ear pieces and other bits of jewelry right? You just have to have the eye for it…

Coming to AdvSR’s sartorial splendor and elegance – that is just proof that he is from Mars.

How, you ask?

Batati batati hoon, zara saans toh lene do.

Hmm toh hum kahan the?

Haan when AdvSR first landed on earth he was like PK – samjhe ke nahi? Instead of the radio he had a guitar strapped to his back. But being a super intelligent professor with lighting fast calculative powers he instantly realized, aise toh nahi chalega.

Some quick thinking and he teleported himself to RM. Darwaza khula tha, almirah bhi, so he swiped a suit of ASR and he was in business.

Like ASR he thought, ek hi suit se saara season nikal jayega, but he hadnt accounted for the dog in the manger err I mean in the pool.

Dive toh karna tha hi – nahi toh point kaise establish hota ki kuch bhi karle, dil ka bura nahi hai woh…bas ek aag hai, badle ki aag that arose from a deep sense of anguish betrayal and injustice….oops sorry story kuch zyaada hi reveal kar diya kya?

Anyway pool se nikla toh dekha ki kapde shrink kar gaye – sab Khushi ki galati hai, sasta tikaoo stuff ke saath aisa hi toh hota hai…

Ab he was in a fix – kya kiya jaaye? Shilpa ne thodi madad kari, Jiji ke red harem pants lend kar diya aur Murli ne apne muffler se tie bana diya. AdvSR tried his own hand at designing his clothes but the fitting was a bit off, the crotch dropped to his heels and he almost tripped over.

So being the sharp guy he is, he hired a tailor, who (unknown to AdvSR) worked during the day at the local jail. He had access to yards yards of stripped qaidi wala kapda that he had filched – ergo.

Not to be outdone PPbaba also hired a tailor with the instructions, job hi ho, bro se zyaada ho, chahe weird ho. Hence, he wore a horizontal striped suit…

Thus ends the yarn on the yarn.

Stay tuned for more updates….

 

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10 thoughts on “A Sartorial Khulasa”

  1. Would that there was a coherent yarn underpinning this aankhon par atyachar the costume designer is inflicting on us!
    The detritus from the ghat being used was inspired 😂
    Waiting for more khulasas aap se!
    As had been told to us, quite fortuitously as it turns out, thoda dard hoga 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thoda being the masterly understatement 😉 And you can say that again, some story line apart from the copy paste job would have made the creativity of the designers infinitely more tolerable. As it is caught between Kmami and BS’ expressions I have little choice but to undergo the atyachar and assault of all sense and sensibilities. Thanks for dropping in 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Couldn’t agree with you more!! I have to say muunh ki baat cheenllya aapne.. but I can never express it so beautifully 🙂 & yes the costume designer needs to be given an Oscar … & the story and acting and all the weird stuff… seriously Iss Ajeeb Serial ko kyaa naam doon Bhagyavaan!! Sigh!! watching it only to see Barun 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am reading your khulasa again and again and enjoying it. I wish I could watch an entire episode but seeing his flyaway hair (sometimes I feel it is going to fly off his head ) and his silly grin ( some call it smirk) I just change the channel and watch ID (Investigation Discovery). Murder on camera is much more interesting. I am relying on you to read more (mis)adventures of AdvSR.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahah- I agree murder on camera is better than going free with the axe oneself. Which is what i often feel like doing for one particular half hour on weekdays. Thanks Londoner, you inspire Kmami 😀

      Like

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