A Musical Khulasa

Ding-dong oh baby sing a song, ding-dong oh baby sing a song ding-dong…what?

Why you ask?

Why the hell not I ask?

First they sneak in the music that is directly connected to our heartstrings to manipulate our emotions aur jale pe namak chidakne ke liye, they just take kuch bhi music and insert it wherever they like – soul stirring intense RV upon meeting with the one he hates and is determined to destroy, I could go on and on but then I would have to watch it all over again. You get my point don’t you?

By the way I have to admit a masterstroke by the CVs here – what better way to destroy the one you hate but marry her? Bravo! Anyway to get back to the topic at hand, just when I had resigned myself to this musical khichdi and convinced myself that I would make do with the king’s expressions and IPK’s captivating and enchanting music and imagine the rest – what do they do?

Lal dupatta oh mera lal dupatta followed by Ek chatur naari badi hoshiyaar and the some obscure windy song on the jhula… Ding-dong oh baby sing a song, Ding-dong oh baby sing a song, llalalalll ooh lala ooh lala ooh lala yeh hai meri fantasy…

Relax dear friends that was just Kmami going off her rockers – err more than usual that is, I hope you understand. Just in case you didn’t, I shall spell it out for you like the Raizada men do (I got my eyes on you) – Kmami is not at all happy with the way things are going and wants to register her protest and demands justice.

She has been cheated milord.

Cheated.

She was promised something but it wasn’t delivered. She is completely crushed heartbroken and traumatized. All she does these days is sing khilona jaan kar tum mera dil tod jaate ho, oh wait wait, she changed the tune– tadap tadap is dil se aah nikalti hai, aisa kya gunah kiya ki lut gaye…ho lut gaye…

Look Kmami is clearly in no form to make a coherent report, I, Dmami shall attempt to reveal to you the reason for Kmami deep anguish and betrayal.

You see on Rakhi, the show ended with a spectacular promo and neither of us (D and K) could wait for the show on 8^th August.

The Martian was going to show the world how global warming could be reduced, how airports could become a thing of the past! No need for a runway even! Just a bit of a lean back, on your marks, ready steady – hop leap and fly through the air and land on your feet – kahin bhi kabhi bhi.

If that wasn’t groundbreaking what was? Shivering and shaking with anticipation and excitement we counted the hours, minutes seconds to the denouement.

But…what the &#^$ happened?

Where was the promised vase-shattering leap? He may as well have climbed the stairs.

What BS!

Oops – Kmami has stopped singing. Her eyes are sparkling. She wishes to speak.

Over to Kmami.

Haan toh hum kahan the? Haan mana ki hum bahut hi disappointiya gaye the par sochne waali baat yeh hai ki compensation bhi kauno bura naahi tha.

Ka samjhe?

Naahi samjhe?

Ooohi – mathematical calculashions – hum toh dang hi reh gaye! Kaisan fatafat calculashion kiya oo hawa main, thoda diwar par thoda elbow ke neecha – taaliyaan!

Taaliyan hi kyon, worthy of a standing ovation don’t you think. Hop, leap and fly and just in case you are too lazy to repeat flick a button to return to terra firma – fantashtic hic hic.

Err someone has been a bit free with the liq—uids. Ka karein kuch kuch stomach karne ke liye reinforcements ki zaroorat padti hai right guys?

Before I let you go I must express my appreciation towards the makers of this revolutionary serial – waise toh hai ek serial but ek serial ke naam par hazaron stories mil rahein hain yahan.

Do Kai Dil Mil Rahe Hain
Magar Chupke Chupke
Do Kai Dil Mil Rahe Hain
Magar Chupke Chupke
Sabhko Ho Rahi Hai
Haan Kya Sabhko Ho Rahi Hai
Khabar?

Let’s list them out for the sake of clarity shall we?

1. Advani ki nafrat wali love story (hey come on surely ek ‘a’ toh spare kar hi sakte ho?
2. Veekha ki ghusaad wali dhamakedar story
3. Mupa ki tantanati hui budding angle
4. Jeejali ka dildehlane wala sleazy romance
5. Still to be paired pink eye-liner wali middle sister ogling her aspiring jeeja

But these are just the pyaar wala romantic tracks. My interests lie elsewhere.

The fascinating Martian ways and tricks – rub two dangling wires, put them in a box and generate ink dissolving heat not to mention just enough heat to make the chain attached to the box drop off without the box itself being damaged or altered – cool don’t you think?

Then there’s the mysterious father – who doesn’t remember his daughter or attend her shaadi ka functions until he does only to handover her hand to some guy who has clean and clear eyes or insist on public display of physicality with a man other than her husband (or to be husband) just to ensure the diya (rather the mombatti) reaches it destination…

There are a couple of other interesting angles too but I will leave them for another day. But jo bhi ho there is no doubt in my mind as to who the real hero of the show is – koi shaq?

Ji haan the color coordinated dezhiner pushtaini ear wear but in close competition is the lipashtick wali mausi ka horizontal stripped Tshirt for the shaadi wali function.

Chalo – catch you guys later I need to urgently catch up on some physics not to mention maths.

Look forward to your personal rants and spiels – have a super weekend 🙂