Chapter 505 Dishaheen

After a lot of introspection and vadh-vivadh with herself, Khushi took Arnav’s advice to heart and attempted to get a life. Yehi chahte hai na woh – toh yehi sahi. (Haan haan US jaana tha, par abhi time tha, plus ho sakta hai, subconsciously she didn’t want to go aur job ke bahane…)  

She scoured the newspapers for a suitable job, but there was none that matched her qualifications or experience. She saw an attractively worded advertisement from a placement agency, which promised the ‘best’ job no matter what qualification. Very much on her high horse, she was determined not to take Arnav’s help, advice or even car, she thought in a burst of emotion.

She would show him – she was still KKGSR dammit.

Excited, she drafted her first CV and went armed with it to some remote corner of Delhi, some place she had never even heard of. But she managed to find it travelling via metro, changing two buses and a rickshaw but to her dismay upon reaching the designated office after a grueling two and a half hour journey in the Delhi heat she found a closed notice.

Phone karke nahi gayi? She could almost hear Arnav’s scathing voice.

Annoyed and irritated she rang up the absconding advertiser, “Oh sorry sorry madam, I have fever, please come to my residence, it’s very near, just a ten minute ride by rickshaw.”

Reluctantly Khushi agreed only to regret it when she found herself in a house alone with the man. A feeling of suffocation and horror descended upon her – was this some kind of a trap? Had she walked right into it? And nobody knew where she was, kisi ko bhi nahi pata, phone main signal bhi nahi hai.

“What the hell!” ASR spoke through her lips, “How unprofessional can you get? Is this anyway to treat people who are looking for jobs, by preying on their desperation?” She turned and strode away, her heart thudding madly. Hey Devi Maiyya yeh humne kya kiya. Arnav ko dikhane ke liye itna idiotic step! Tu toh Chotti se bhi gayi guzari huyi hai, she castigated herself. Dammit kuch ho jaata toh? It would have been entirely your fault. She shuddered breathing deeply as she stumbled out into the open. This was one episode she could never share with anyone – not if she wanted to draw an easy breath for the rest of her life.

Quite alone Khushi turned to her best friend. “Aaj khush toh bahut hoge na aap Devi Maiyya?” she said bitterly. “Itne dino se nahi aayi isliye saza dein rahin hai na aap?” Tears slid down her cheeks as she sank down on the cool marble floor. Thankfully the temple was deserted at this time of the day. “Aapko toh pata na how busy I have been all these years aur phir bhi aap ko nahi bhooli. Par lagta hai hai aap hume bhool gayi.” Her tears dropped thick and fast. And she wallowed in the luxury of letting go. It had been so long going it alone despite Arnav the kids, Amma Babuji oh everyone! The sad fact was that ever since Nani had gone Khushi hadn’t found another where she could just unburden herself or even just lean for a bit. An obsessive ‘coper’ she longed for a shoulder to cry on.

Arnav’s shoulder was the one she craved but he wasn’t emotionally geared to be her friend in need.

And the problem was that in so many years Khushi had never found the time or the scope of having a friend. Someone with whom she could rave and rant to her hearts content without feeling disloyal or guilty.

Par yahan toh:

Khud dil se dil ki baat kahi
Aur ro liye

Yun hasraton ke daag
Mohabbat mein dho liye
Khud dil se dil ki baat kahi
Aur ro liye
Yun hasraton ke daag

Gharse chale the hum to
Khushi ki talaash mein
Gharse chale the hum to
Khushi ki talaash mein
Khushi ki talaash mein

Ghum raah mein khade the
Wohi saath ho liye
Khud dil se dil ki baat kahi
Aur ro liye
Yun hasraton ke daag

Murjha chuka hain dil bhi
Yeh dil phool hi to hain
Murjha chuka hain dil bhi
Yeh dil phool hi to hain
haan phool hi to hain

Ab aapki khushi se
Kaaton mein so liye
Khud dil se dil ki baat kahi
Aur ro liye

By Anand Bakshi

Isnt it amazing how sometimes somethings are just handed to you on a platter. I honestly knew only the first line of the song and look how beautifully it fit into Khushi – seems to be written just for her. Or Khushi is us. A sobering thought eh?

 Shaken by the near-calamitous event (and even more the attending nightmares of Arnav blasting her) , she gave up her job search, at least for now. Chotti dropped in for her vacations, then Guddu ke jaane ka time ho raha tha, aur itna paperwork ki full time job se bhi zyaada time consuming tha. And Deva was still insisting that she too go along with him.

To be honest when Deva had suddenly demanded that she accompany him and help him set up house, Khushi had not really thought she would be able go. After all, how could she? What about Arnav? Chotti? How would RM function without her? She was indispensable, wasn’t she?

She wanted to be near Arnav, rakshash hi sahi. Pata nahi kab Rajkumar aa jaye phir woh dukhi hokar gayab ho jayega. Nahi nahi woh aisa hone nahi degi. Woh kahin nahi jaygi.

She had alternately protested and played along secure in the knowledge that by hook or by crook, Arnav wouldn’t let her go.

But this time she was wrong.

He didn’t say anything.

Though to be fair to him, there wasn’t much he could say. Baat Khushi ki nahi thi aur na hi apni. Baat Devansh ki thi – woh kaise Khushi ko rok leta? Not that usko Khushi ki zaroorat thi. After all karti kya thi besides he was self-sufficient – right? Aur waise bhi kuch hi dino ki toh baat thi. Jahan itne saal guzar gaye, yeh bhi kat hi jaayenge. Khushi ke. ASR ke paas toh waqt hi nahi tha kaam ke ilaava kuch sochne samanjhne ki. Achcha hi hoga agar woh jaaye, then he wouldn’t feel guilty for neglecting her.

But he could have hugged her. He could have said he would miss her.

Instead it was the airport scene all over again.

Except she was leaving.

Yet it felt as if she was frozen in time and space while he went further and further away from her.

Until the very end she hoped and prayed that he would look at her, say something but instead he was engrossed with this phone, the flight timings, the weather report, their accommodation, their itinerary, their reception committee – everything and everyone except her.

“Devansh, I mailed you the contact details of….”

“I got it Dad, thanks.”

“And did you let your mentor know…”

“I did Dad.”

“Here’s an extra set of your documents…”

“Not required Dad, I have one set, Mom has the other…”

“Exactly. Just keep this okay?”

What does he mean? I am careless? Singhania file kisne sambhala itne saal?

“Da! Don’t be like Dad and neglect Mom. Take her around, show her the sights! Oh I am so jealous! How I wish Mom and me were going. We would have had a blast right Mom?” An excited Chotti fluttered and floated about them (as a 3D hologram) as she called up to wish them a bon voyage and ended up offering a huge list of dos and don’ts including her dad, “Don’t forget to go home Dad. Just because Mom’s not there doesn’t mean you can sleep over at the office. Waise why don’t you also go along with Da and Mom, stay for as long as you can, spend some time with Mom…”

“I would if I could Angel,” Arnav interrupted, “Anyway it’s too late now. Bye.”

Bye

The airport formalities were a blur – eyes and heart both overflowing with emotions as she went through the motions. Once they were boarded and buckled up, Guddu looked at her and ruefully shook his head, “You two are a pair!”

Khushi frowned. “What?”

“You and Dad. I don’t know what’s up with you guys! Did you have a fight or something?”

Khushi swallowed against the sudden tightness in her throat and shrugged, “Not than I know.” she managed lightly. And then spoilt it by saying, “Waise bhi Dad ke pass time kahan hai jhagda karne ke liye?”

“Well it certainly looked like two kids were on their ‘kutti’ mode!”

And here she thought she had been remarkably mature and composed and …

“I don’t know what you mean,” Khushi said very much on her dignity and looked out of the window.

“Don’t worry Mom,” Devansh settled himself comfortably and fiddled with the in-flight entertainment system, “You did good not to fall at his feet crying.”

Khushi turned to glare at him. “Excuse me, I would never…”

Devansh laughed at her expression. “As a prize for being a good girl I’ll tell you a secret.” He leaned forward, “A little longer and he would have been crying at your feet!”

“Guddu!” Khushi gasped her heart going dhak dhak.

“It’s true!” Vowed Devansh, “And so many instructions! Not for me but for you. That I should take care of you, keep an eye on you, that you don’t get lost, that you don’t get into trouble, not to…oh!” Guddu threw up his hands in exasperation, “As if I was taking away the youngest, and his most favoritest person away from his tender loving care! As if I was the novice dad and you my newborn baby!”

Tears pricked Khushi’s eyes. Her phone beeped.

Take care

The lump in her throat grew and choked her. She fought with it until it subsided.

You too she quickly sent. And before she could change her mind sent a kiss as well.

She settled back in her seat as the tightness in her throat eased.

Perhaps he would miss her.

Perhaps this was for the best.

Give them some time and space to rethink their priorities.

Perhaps he was right.

She needed to focus on something else besides Arnav. Perhaps she was being too clingy, too dependent.

Besides it was just for a month. With her son. In the States. Who in their right minds would resist that?

Who else but Sankadevi.

***

Click here for Chapter 506

 

36 thoughts on “Chapter 505 Dishaheen”

  1. Finally khushi ud gayi, saat samundar paar.. & we have role reversal of iconic airport scene.. i agree 1000% with Deva, these two r a pair🤦🏻‍♀️ both wanted other to understand their khamoshi, than act according to it. Phele aap phele aap main plane is now in air, ab gao – mere pyari gaye rangoon, waha se aaya telephone par na main uthatha hoon, na main jatata hoon.. to b fair, Arnav toh hai hi aisa. Bas iss baar khushi bhi waisi ho gayi & aisa waisa milkar ab hogi taubaa taubaa.. ye 1 mahina khushi se koi nahi le sakta, ye 1 mahina uski zindagi badal sakte hai, iss 1 mahine main devi maiyaa nahi batayegi ki khushi kya karna hai, khushi decide karegi ki ab kya karu- kiss bheju ya kasak se saath miss karne doon Arnav ko, usse & uske khayal ko.

    I m waiting to see how self sufficient Arnav is, bas zidd main woh ye sabit karne main na lag jaye. Dammit iss 1 month ka kuch toh result nikalna chahiye😈

    Deva is my hero- kyunki he finally take khushi with him, without Arnav, which is a feat itself. I m so excited to see khushi kya karti hai videshi dharti par.. aur kya pata 1 month baad woh msg kare, i want to stay here more, take care.. pakka Arnav ki taraf se koi kiss nahi aayega😂

    Choti guessed her Da rt, he will make office his home🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

    Dji & all other frnds here happy janamashtami 🙏🏼🙏🏼

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Aap sab ko Janmaashtami ki hardik shubh kamnaayein 😊🙏
      Sahi kaha aapne Prachi Khushi gayi hai Rangoon wahaan se nahi aaya hai telephone 😂😂. Sorry got distracted what I meant was ki that you are right ASR toh waisa hi hai it’s Khushi who is changing the rules of the game. She now wants what is sauce for the goose as for the gander. Ab roles reverse toh nahin ho sakte na? Ek ghar mein do ASR bahut na insaafi🤦‍♀️ Ab ASR ne jaane diya Deva lekar gaya ab dekhna yeh hai ki if the horse drinks🤪🙃

      Liked by 3 people

  2. 3rd try to post comment !

    Good morning and happy Janamasthami to all !
    I just wrote a comment and it disappeared…what the …
    Anyway, jo is budhape mein yaad hai, once more, with feeling 😊
    Toh yeh hai ki, Dahlia, you chose a very apt song…reminded me of my childhood…of course the words didn’t make any sense then , who knew anything about Mohabbat and gham… par ab yeh to ghar ghar ki kahani hai !
    I’m glad Khushi gave in to Deva and left for the US leaving Arnav at the airport with his phone and ego! Kutti mode was a perfect description… dare I say I love your Guddu more than your ASR of SS2! DSR maybe a chip of the old block, but his EQ is way, way above his dad’s.
    Hope the two kutti pair take advantage of the distance and introspect. Hope Khushi has a ball in the US and enjoys the sights and the freedom.
    Everyone have a great day!

    Oh I forgot to say one more thing! Can we please have tutorial on decoding ASR wala update with you on zoom/ Google meet/ whatsaap… kyon, anyone else interested in baatooing gyan? Ruchi, Prachi, Ferdie. Mysticaura????

    Liked by 5 people

    1. 😁😂🤣Tutorial on ASR! What an amazing idea Sirji 💡I am game. Waise on a slightly different note IMHO hume Khushi ko decode karne ki zyaada zaroorat hai. Tabhi we can make a difference. Is she expecting too much? Is she too needy? Suffocating ASR? Or Perhaps she is menopausal? Or just a case of burnout giving too much…

      Liked by 4 people

  3. That’s like Arnav I can imagine ,without making it obvious just to him waise ,he really loves her but hope the kids are able to understand him like we do .Khushi is ,very unlike Khushi ,keeping her feelings to herself ,which is not helping the matters.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. When Arnav messaged “Take care”, it was like he was throwing a piece of bread to a starving dog. I bet Khushi was barely able to stop the take off and get out of the plane and run into his arms!

    I read your perspective added to “Shayad woh aisa hi hai” and after reading that, I speed read the last 4 chapters and here I am. Okay, I can definitely concede to the point that Khushi needs to get a life. Perhaps, the secret of a happy marriage is busy partners!! However, I will still stick to my point about Arnav not being mean without rhyme or reason. He wouldn’t use “tough love” to a Khushi who is already down in the doldrums. A vivid example is when Khushi left the house lying that buaji is sick and Arnav finds out, he could read her subtext. He pleaded with her to tell him the truth, he even said “Khushi main hu tumhare saath”. To be honest, if all else fails, Arnav and Khushi very well understand when the other is hurt or in pain. Afterall, it was pain that connected them first. Even when Arnav was ASR to Khushi, he would always always back off seeing Khushi in pain. I guess it’s hard for me to understand that he would hurt her knowing she is already struggling.

    But, I can see your perspective too. He could just be trying to find his Khushi, the firebrand one, who didn’t need anyone to be happy. I guess if the boat is floating towards falling in love with yourself and rediscovering love for your partner, then I am all aboard!! 😀

    For once though, I would have loved to see Arnav support Khushi through this lack of self confidence. She has been there for him through thick and thin, it was Arnav’s turn!! 😦

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Whew glad you could see my POV! The whole problem with life is like Calvin says – it doesnt come with background music. Agar hota toh uske pehle ASR ka duvidha emotions etc sab swirl karta, ek crescendo par sms bhejta. But since it is not, the text seems like a piece of bread for a starving dog. He doesnt send the text because Khushi needs it, but because he couldnt stop himself from reaching out. And therein lies the difference. IMHO men and women react differently to different situations. If a man (speaking generally and strictly of the traditional one and not of the modern era) is not well, she will ply him with food, instinctively know what he would like, or should eat, lay on tender loving care etc etc. But if she is not well, he will go off to the office. How callous isnt it? But perhaps he is so nervous and stressed out that he runs away. And even if he stays, unless the situation demands hospitalization which he can handle, TLC is not in his DNA, he wont know what to cook, offer or suggest. He will be all concern and care, but sit twiddling his thumbs not knowing what to do, apart from yelling at her for falling ill. And she would be thinking does he not care? Because men are not instinctive nurturers they come off as callous, while they are actually clueless. That is why they need to be trained to behave in the manner women expect to be taken care of, like they take care of them – but there is a flip side to this as well. Because it is a learned behavior women would instinctively feel it is not from the heart and then then feel bad about it and start another cycle of real vs fraud. Another thing is that men and women react differently to the same situation; if she was by his side at his time of trouble, it is not necessary that he will return the favor in the same way. It’s like sending kadi chawal to a neighbor’s house and then expect back a bowl of kadi chawal. Very likely some other dish would be sent back, hai ki nahi? Not sure if the analogy works or not but the same way here too, ASR is returning the favor the way he knows how. He didnt put up a fuss about her leaving because he thinks she needs to spread her wings, Deva needs her. He doesnt have to dance for joy over it does he?

      Besides, like they say, sometimes the best helping hand is a good firm push. 😉

      Liked by 4 people

  5. Good Morning and A very Happy Janmasthami eating ‘Malpua'(sweet pancakes) and Keer and pakode.
    As usual, I read the update at 4 o’clock in the morning but could not respond as my iPhone will not let so I went back to sleep. So Chodchadke Apne Arnav ki Gali Khushi USA Chali.
    What a stalemate . Khushi was hoping that her Arnav will stop her and Arnav was hoping Khushi will not go. By the way, why did no one (except Choti) thought about ASR to accompany them? I am sure he would have liked to go there and sort everything out for his son. Hmmm! Maybe not.Not a good idea. So now reluctantly they are separated. It will be interesting to see how self-sufficient ASR will cope without Khushi to tread on. How will Khushi cope without Arnav Afterall ‘jaisa hi hai wo hai to apna’
    I know we all think that Khushi should have a life of her on but why? After all, these years is it unreasonable for Khushi to expect her Arnav to spend some time with her, look at the stars together, see a movie (not Salman Khan) but maybe by now, Khushi has learnt to enjoy Marvel movies? (I am sure Guddu and Chotti were watching Happy Potter or Marvel movies). She is not asking much, is it? I am waiting to see when Khushi will be too busy to sit with Arnav to spend some time together. Wo Waqt Bhi ayega. If everyone is pushing her to do her own thing.
    I loved the song and the words completely described Khushi’s feelings.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I am now envious of your garden and phone😁 And I loved the song become an earworm 🤪 I get what you are saying Ferdi but then I do think partners should have an individuality of their own with a life they can call their very own and not expect the other to sit in their pockets. That itself is a recipe for disaster. Besides mid 50 is not old. Life is just beginning. Abhi toh bahut kuch karna baki hai right?

      Liked by 3 people

  6. Sure the couples should have their own things to do but surely they should also spend some time together. If they do not at fifty they are going to drift apart and at sixty they will not sit together to have even a cup of tea together. They will be used to doing their own things. I see it around me. The couples have a lot of time after they have retired but they are not spending it together anymore. So if ASR is not careful and keeps pushing Khushi away she will go away doing her own thing. I can see Khushi ban sajke😎 going out to golguppa eating party.😀 leaving Arnav to eat gila gila pushta alone.
    It is unbearably hot. Can’t even sit outside because my brother has workers reroofing the garden shed. 🙁

    Liked by 2 people

    1. 😎 Well then it would serve ASR right! And in the long run the less time they spend together the better it is😁 Brothers manage to create work isn’t it? My mom is reaping the harvest😅

      Liked by 2 people

  7. “Devansh laughed at her expression. “As a prize for being a good girl I’ll tell you a secret.” He leaned forward, “A little longer and he would have been crying at your feet!””
    I love Deva for this! ❤️❤️❤️

    Aur ab hum dekhna chahenge ki Arnav kaise manage karenge sab kuch. Khushi karti hi kya hai! Abhi pata chalega, dekhte jao! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. The best part of reading this post is to see how your fan following has increased well, all credits go to you for sure I had always told you that when you write you can see it thats how you run our imaginations, and please dont accept any zoom call because you declined my offer of zoom call so not done…but i want to be in it…
    I loved the strength Khushi showed, I love the way Dev took it up on his shoulder and i cant seem to forget the similar scene in the serial when he goes for a tour when the “Shyam thing had happened…
    Walk away…..sometimes is the best dose you can give to someone…silence is the best punishment at times….
    But somehow i dont feel like “ASR is returning the favor the way he knows how” —he still doesnt realise the true feelings

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Ferdi – I am a bit under weather and caught up in something else as well. Will likely post by weekend as I have not been able to work on SS at all. Thanks for checking in 🙂

      Like

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