Kmami: Thanks so much ASR for seeing me again at such short notice.
ASR: Yeah fine. Not that I have much to do these days except for reminisce about the good old days.
Kmami: Good old days? Interesting! Weren’t you like anti-past?
ASR: Oh that past. No no, I am talking about the happier past, Khushi, Nani, Di, Kshitij, Ankit, Devansh and of course Chotti.
Kmami: Aha! So you did read Silver Streaks! Did it match up to your real life?
ASR: I am not telling. But yeah sure made for an entertaining read.
Kmami: Yay! Thanks for the vote of support. I will be sure to pass on the message to Dmami. She will be thrilled to bits.
ASR: So did you come here to promote Silver Streaks?
Kmami: Ah no sorry. Just got distracted a bit. Anyway, we got another glimpse of the other ASR.
ASR: The other ASR? What the! Oh Addu…I don’t think I appreciate you or anyone referring to him as ASR.
Kmami: Oh yes sure! I completely agree with you. In fact that was one of the things I wanted to discuss with you. It’s going to be tough tedious task – ASR the First and ASR the Late.
ASR: I like that. (smiling – half smiling)
Kmami. Oops… err how about ASR (dadiwala) or the bushy ASR?
ASR: Shaking head.
Kmami: I know it’s too long and cumbersome. Waise bhi who knows if the TRPs are poor or fans go on hunger strike, Addu too may have to sport the clean-shaven look?
ASR: That I am sitting here discussing this crap…
Kmami: Just two more minutes please. Let’s sort this out – how about KSR or YSR?
ASR: How did you arrive at these?
Kmami: Easy peasy – Adrak ka K
ASR: (Smirks) not bad but (frowning) Khushi is KSR.
Kmami: I thought she was KKGSR.
ASR: (impatiently) One and the same thing – KSR – KKGSR
Kmami: (Placating) You are right and enough of this acronym business, waise bhi we have enough of this at office (eh Jyotsna? 😉 Best would be YSR.
ASR: Why on earth! Forget it – I don’t want to know…
Kmami: But that’s exactly it – Y on Earth – Advyay on Earth. Besides, sahi bhi hai na – ASR is right on top and YSR just shy of the bottom.
ASR: What do you mean?
Kmami: Now we come to the actual crux of the interview – the new promo.
ASR: Well, what about it?
Kmami: YSR is waaayyyyy worse than you ever were! I mean you just dropped Khushi on the cardboard boxes from the first floor of your office, but YSR… (shudder).
ASR: Go on.
Kmami: He actually put fire to her sari pallu.
ASR: That Addu always liked playing with fire. Did he burn the girl?
Kmami: Just stopped short of it. He took of his jacket, stamped out the fire and then draped the soot filled jacket around her shoulder. At least you maintained standards. You didn’t run down to check on Khushi…
ASR: What the…! Stop making me out to be a monster!
Kmami: Excuse me? I am on your side.
ASR: Nonsense! Just for the record I would like to clarify matters once and for all.
Kmami: Excellent. Fandom is very keen to hear your version. We had heard some rumors about you claiming that you dropped her because you knew about the cardboard boxes…
ASR: What do you mean ‘claim’? I did know! Pata hai na main sab kuch jaanta hoon? But the real fact is that even if the boxes hadnt been there to cushion Khushi’s fall, uska girna nischit tha…
Kmami: What the! I thought you were defending yourself not digging your own grave in the rush to be worst of the worst. Yahaan bhi nahi haar nahi maante hain kya?
ASR: Actually that’s it (sheepish look)
ASR: What happened that day was, as you know I was boiling mad at Khushi and yet I didn’t like that she was leaving the office…
ASR: Do you want to know or not?
Kmami: Sorry. Do go on.
ASR: Well, so I applied my usual delaying tactics of bluster and thunder expecting her to cave in. But Khushi being Khushi fought back – and walked backwards. She would have fallen down had it not been for my quick reflexes.
Kmami: And then you deliberately let go of her hand. How mean!
ASR: Actually I just pretended to drop her. I could feel my hand losing its grip my hands were slippery…
Kmami: Slippery! How? Why? Sweating with fear or excitement?
ASR: Are you crazy? None of that bullshit. I had my breakfast in the car – aloo ka paratha …
ASR: So lick my toe! The paratha was full of ghee – that HP…
Kmami: Excuse me, at that time HP wasn’t even on board. It was Rahim chacha or Iqbal kaka I forget…
ASR: Well whoever – it could have been Mami for all I know…
Kmami: Or Di.
ASR: Not Di. She makes the perfect paratha.
Kmami: Better than Khushi?
ASR: Clearly you aren’t interested in knowing what happened that day…
Kmami: Sorry, please go on – you held on to Khushi’s hand, but your hands were oily, slippery and you could feel her slipping from your grasp…
ASR: And I couldn’t let the world know that I couldn’t hold on to her that she fell because of my failure to hold on to her. So I pretended as if it was my decision to let go.
Kmami: Wow. That’s some quick thinking.
ASR: Yes I was, I mean, I am an expert at thinking on my feet. Take spur of the moment momentous decisions…
Kmami: Hmm makes one wonder if YSR too is tarred with the same brush? Does he also hate losing? But if he is truly from Mars what can be the intezaar intequam ilzaam business? Socheka padhi…
And watch this space 😉