Category: TOI Write India

The Christmas Present

Love Jihad

Syed and Gayatri didn’t mean to fall in love. But love happens when you least expect it. It creeps up suddenly. When someone needs attention, care, conversation, laughter and maybe even intimacy. Love doesn’t look at logic, or at backgrounds and least of all, religion.

Gayatri was from a very conservative South Indian family that went to a temple every Saturday. Syed bought goats for his family every Eid. That said it all. Their paths would never have crossed if it hadn’t been for that fateful day. That day when he walked into the coffee shop. Gayatri wondered if destiny chose our loved ones for us. Did we have any role to play at all?

She looked at her watch. Syed was late. They met every Thursday at five pm to catch up. Their conversation lasted for hours. Sometimes at the cafe, sometimes in his car, sometimes in places that she could never tell her friends about. They would never understand. And yet Syed made her happy.

Suddenly her phone beeped. He had sent a message. “On my way. Have something important to tell you.”

Gayatri stared at it and realised she had knots in her stomach. Thoughts flooded her mind. What did he want to tell her? Had he talked to his parents? What had they said? Was he coming to break off with her? What else could he do? Even her parent would never accept their illicit love.

No! Love could never be illicit.

Yet Gayatri couldn’t see the way out. She shuddered – how could she choose between her parents and her love? Or expect him to? So where did that leave them? Nowhere unless they ran away, leaving their parents to face the brunt of societal ire and agony of betrayal. But they couldn’t do that could they? The knots in her stomach tightened and she struggled for composure.

“Hi!” Syed broke into her thoughts as he slid into the seat opposite her. Heart thudding, she stared at him. She wished she could throw herself into his arms and let them close out the world. She didn’t need anything, anyone, hysteria bubbled up within her. “Where the hell have you been?” She couldn’t help herself. “I have been waiting and waiting. Worrying about us, and on top of it you are so late…”

Syed reached out and put a finger on her lips. “Shush. How can a doctor berate another doctor for being late? I was busy saving lives dammit!” He winked as he pressed a quick kiss on her clenched fist.

Gayatri stilled. Her eyes fluttered as she involuntarily cast a look around the cafe. What was wrong with him? He was not one for public displays of affection. And the look in his eyes! She flushed a beetroot red – yet the world, the society faded into the background. It was just them.

“What important thing?”

He clasped her hand. “Will you marry me?”

Her fingers tightened involuntarily on his. “Are you crazy? What about…”

“Look what Ammi sent.” He opened a box. “Her engagement ring. With her blessings.” He took it out and slid it on her finger. “It fits!” he gave her hand a tight squeeze before releasing it and leaning back into his seat. “I need a coffee!” He signaled for two cups and grinned at her. “What’s the matter?” His voice was innocent. “Don’t like the ring or don’t want to marry me?” He waggled his eyes at her looking smug and confident.

Gayatri worried the ring on her finger which felt odd yet right. “It’s not so simple Syed and you know it.”

“Don’t be so negative Gayatri!” He chided her. “Ammi agreed didn’t she? Your Amma too will.” He cast her a knowing look. “Once you gather the guts to talk to her of course.” He paused as the waiter placed their order. “Or should I…”

“Stop it Syed!” Gayatri was irritated. “One swallow does not a summer make. Just because your mother agreed doesn’t mean anything. What about your father? What about the others?” She looked away. “Does your mother know that I wont change my religion?”

“She does.”

“And?”

He shrugged. “And nothing. I told you she is okay with this marriage. She has given her blessings and taken responsibility for convincing my father, the others. You manage your family.”

Gayatri shook her head. “I don’t believe you. How could she agree? She doesn’t even know me.”

Syed smiled. “But she knows me!”

“Oh stop treating this as some kind of a joke dammit!”

“First you stop making it into a Laila-Majnu tragedy. For your information, this is the 21^st Century.”

Gayatri clenched her fists. “Syed, I…”

“Okay!” He raised his hands. “Look, how about you meet my mother and see for yourself?”

Two days later, she was at Syed’s house. Since Syed couldn’t get leave, she was here all alone, nervous and tense. But Syed had assured her of a warm welcome. “I promise you will love her.”

Yeah, right.

“Come in dear. You are Gayatri aren’t you?” A beaming elegant middle-aged lady opened the door. “I am Ayesha, Syed’s mother.

“Namaste…I mean good afternoon Ma’am.”

“Namaste, Namaste. Come in and make yourself comfortable. Don’t worry there’s just us. Here have a glass of aam panna. It’s so hot, I thought this would be refreshing.” She bustled about busily around their cozy house. She carried in a tray loaded with goodies. “No, no you sit. I had it all ready before you came so that we could chat in peace.” She sat down across her. “Here, try this.” She held out a plate of cutlets. “Don’t worry Gayatri, it’s pure vegetarian. No onion or garlic. I even used a new frying pan.”

Tears started in Gayatri’s eyes. She just couldn’t help it. She sank down on the floor beside the baffled lady, put her head on her lap and bawled like a baby.

Ayesha let her cry for a while before forcing her up. “Enough of crying now. Go and wash up, while I make a cup of tea. Or do you prefer coffee?”

The tears started again. Gayatri controlled herself with an effort. “Tea is fine.” She managed a weak smile.

“Good. Wash your face and come into the kitchen.”

“I am sorry.” Gayatri stood behind Ayesha, pleating the edge of her dupatta. “I was very stressed and worried, you were so kind, so accepting.” she choked. “My parents…” She broke off.

“Have you talked to them?”

Gayatri shook her head. “I know they will never agree.”

Ayesha was silent, intent on the pan of boiling water.

Gayatri reached out and turned off the gas.

Ayesha started and busied herself with the tea. “Strange, how our past comes back to haunt us at the most unexpected of ways,” mused Ayesha with a twisted smile. “You could be me, three decades ago.”

“I don’t understand.”

Ayesha wore a faraway look. “When I was about your age, I was madly desperately in love with Indrajit, my childhood friend, classmate and constant companion.”

Gayatri stared.

“Nobody stopped us from playing together and we didn’t even know when we fell in love. And by then it was too late. Yet, marriage was out of the question.” Ayesha paused. “Actually, that is my greatest regret. That we didn’t even ask our parents – who knows what they would have said?”

She strained the tea and allowed Gayatri to carry the tray to the sitting room.

“What happened?”

Ayesha shrugged. “The usual. I cried, he cried. He got married. I got married and we both got on with our lives.” She smiled. “You know, you are the first person I have ever told this to. Nobody else knows, not Syed, nor his father.”

“And that is why you agreed to let your son marry me.” It was a statement not a question.

“Yes, perhaps.” An odd expression flitted across her face.

“What?” Gayatri asked.

“Indrajit has a daughter. Her name is Gayatri.”

Gayatri’s eyes widened.

Ayesha smiled. “When Syed told me, I took it as a sign, a gentle rebuke if I may call it that. I shouldn’t have given up so easily then. It was time to make amends. If not me, at least my son could have the happiness that I couldn’t.” She reached out and clasped Gayatri’s hand. “Don’t do what I did. Don’t give up so easily. Talk to your parents. At least you would have tried.”

Gayatri nodded. “Yes I will. Thank you,” she hesitated, “Ammi.”

Ayesha enfolded her in a warm embrace. “Bless you my dear. If it is meant to be, it will happen. But you have to at least try.”

Armed with these words, Gayatri took the bull by its horns and confronted her parents.

“Amma, Appa can I talk to you?”

“Yes?” Her father muted the TV and shot a look at his wife who shrugged.

“I…I love this guy and we want to get married.” She paled and her breath hitched in her throat but she gritted her teeth and continued, “his name is Syed.”

“You want to marry a meat eating scoundrel!” There was a crash as the remote hit the TV screen. Gayatri’s mother shot to her feet and slapped her. “Over my dead body.”

Gayatri’s neck snapped and she put a hand to her bruised cheek. But she held her ground. “Please Appa, he is not a scoundrel. He is also a doctor, senior to me, well-settled, good family, even his mother has agreed. And I won’t have to change my religion, eat meat…”

“Meenakshi,” roared Ravi, “tell that girl to shut up or I will murder her right now.”

“Appa,” stunned, Gayatri pleaded, “listen to me please. Just meet him once…”

Ravi strode off and returned brandishing a knife.

“Ravi!”

“Appa!”

They ran towards him but he waved them away. “One step forward and I will slash my wrists,” he positioned the knife. “Gayatri, do you swear never to talk about this thing again? Swear, otherwise I will kill myself.” He lowered the knife over his wrist.

“Appa please don’t, Appa,” Gayatri was weeping hysterically while her equally panic stricken mother berated her, “What are waiting for you wicked girl? Promise him! Promise him before he hurts himself. Gayatri does your father’s life mean nothing to you? You ungrateful wretch,” her mother shook her till her teeth rattled. “Is this why we brought you up, so that you could make us the laughing stock of our society? Is this any way to repay your parents’ debt?”

“Appa please just listen to me…

“Gayatri, I am asking you one last time.” Ravi touched the knife to his wrist and began slashing motions.

“Appa!” Gayatri shrieked. “I promise Appa, I promise. But let me meet him once, just once to explain, please Appa.”

“Fine.” Ravi nodded. “Only once. And you can invite him to your wedding next Saturday.” He threw the knife down and walked off.

“Amma! What is this about my wedding? To whom and so quickly?”

“To the first guy your father approves of, what else.” Meenaskhi too flounced out of the room.

***

“Please try and understand Syed,” a tearful Gayatri pleaded as Syed turned his back upon her, “please don’t ask me to choose you over my parents. I wouldn’t be able to live with being the cause of…”

Syed turned back and squeezed her hands before releasing them. “I am not. I am just trying to accept the situation.” His throat worked.

“What else can we do?” Gayatri said dully. “Nothing has changed in three decades.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” Gayatri shook her head. “Appa fixed my wedding. I have no choice but to go ahead with it. You also get married and forget that…” She wept bitter tears for one last time in his arms.

“You do what you think is right and I will do what I think is right.” His voice was cold and implacable.

“Wh…what do you mean?”

“I will never marry anyone other than you.”

“Syed!” her voice was a mere whisper. “Please don’t do this! I will die of guilt. You should at least try to move on.”

“I cannot, Gayatri. I cannot spoil a fourth person’s life. Please do not ask me to.”

“Syed…”

“Goodbye my love.” Syed pulled her into his arms and pressed a fierce kiss on her lips. “Remember that I will always wait for you.” The next instant, he was gone.

“Syed.” Gayatri wept bitter tears. For one wild moment she contemplated jumping off the nearest high rise building – anything to be rid of this deep agonizing excruciating unbearable pain. But then her phone rang.

“Yes Appa, I told him. He has gone. Yes, Appa, I am coming home.”

True to her word, Gayatri didn’t contact Syed. Yet she couldn’t prevent herself from calling Ayesha.

“How is he?”

“How do you think? Completely shattered.” Ayesha was short.

Guilt smote Gayatri. “Please don’t be like that! I thought you would understand. I didn’t have a choice!”

“I disagree.” Ayesha’s voice was hard. “There is always a choice. You made yours. You chose your father over my son. Your father is alive. My son…” She choked.

Gayatri flared up. “How can you blame me, when you also took a similar decision?”

“That wasn’t my decision. It was Indrajit’s. He was too cowardly to face societal ire. I was ready to brave anything but he backed out.” Her voice broke. “And now you. I hope you are happy Gayatri.” She disconnected the phone.

Gayatri broke down – it wasn’t fair! She screamed silently and not for the first time. Why should so many lives be shattered because of the outdated dictates of some faceless, unknown ‘society’?

Taking no chances, Gayatri was married off to Ramesh at the next auspicious date in a quiet private ceremony followed by a gala reception. Society turned out in large droves to bless the happy couple, gush over the ostentatious arrangements and gorge on the lavish spread. Ravi and Meenakshi beamed from ear to ear as they basked in the glory of their appreciation. They heaved a sigh of relief and carried on with their lives.

A few days later, Gayatri burst into her parents’ home and threw up in the washroom.

“What the hell!” Ravi thundered. “I will kill you.” He grabbed a still retching Gayatri by the throat and shook her like a ragged doll.

“Are you crazy?” Meenakshi threw herself into the fray and dragged Gayatri away.

Meenakshi slapped her hard. “Get out you shameless woman. I never should have brought you home from the orphanage.”

Gayatri stilled as the penny dropped.

“And yet you didn’t let me marry Syed?”

“You ungrateful wretch!” Ravi charged at her.

Gayatri held up her hand. “Relax. I am not pregnant.” She looked Ravi full in the eye and said, “I threw up because Ramesh, your beloved son-in-law, insisted that I eat meat.”

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No Place to Run

Maya ran up the stairs and pressed the bell. She rang until Sanjay opened the door.

“Hey.” Sanjay peered blearily at her. He stumbled back inside.

Maya followed him. “Were you sleeping?”

“For heaven’s sake Maya,” Sanjay said, “it’s barely seven am, that too on a freezing Sunday. What did you expect?” He vanished into the washroom. “Make some coffee will you?” he yelled through the door.

“Okay shoot.” Sanjay sat across Maya at the dining table clutching his mug for warmth.

Maya seemed to be in the grip of a dilemma. She fidgeted restlessly.

“Come on.”

“What the hell is going on between my husband and that bitch?” Maya’s patience was at its lowest ebb and she was ready to burst.

Sanjay knew that she was serious. “Look, Maya. There is nothing going on between the two of them. Just a little bit of healthy flirting, I’d say.”

“Flirting? Healthy flirting? Really Sanjay . . .” she rolled her eyes in disgust. “That’s what you men call it? There is nothing healthy about flirting, Sanjay, not for a married man.

Healthy flirting is a term introduced by perverted men who want to lend legitimacy to their extramarital dalliances. Flirting invariably has a sexual connotation to it.” She got up from her seat and walked around the room gesticulating and muttering something to herself. Suddenly she stopped, turned back, looked at Sanjay and asked, “Did my husband sleep with her? You are his friend. Did he ever tell you anything about it?”

“I…I couldn’t say.” Sanjay shifted in his seat. “Best if you talk to him directly.”

Maya bit her lip. “I wish I could,” she mumbled. Tears filled her eyes.

“Oh man.” Sanjay got up and paced his tiny kitchen.

She hurriedly wiped her eyes. “Sorry.” She blew her nose and offered him a watery smile. “I am okay, really.”

Relieved, Sanjay slid back into his chair. “Talk to me Maya.” He sipped his coffee and waited patiently.

She swallowed valiantly. “The thing is,” she said pulling at her handkerchief, “I am afraid to talk to Adi. What if -, what if he admits he is having an affair? What will I do then?” she asked.

Sanjay sighed. “But how will not talking to him help?” he said gently. “I mean, you came to me to know the truth. Now suppose,” he said looking at her, “just suppose, I say ‘yes he is having an affair’ then what will you do?”

Maya buried her face in her arms and burst into huge sobs.

Sanjay dragged a hand through his hair. “Apart from that,” he muttered to himself. He pushed his chair back and viciously attacked the pile of dishes in the sink.

After a little while, Maya pulled herself together. She got up and began drying the dishes.

“I am sorry.”

“Dump him Maya. Walk out today. Right now.”

“It’s not so simple Sanjay.”

“It is. This is the 21st Century, not some medieval era where women have no choice but to stay on with their husbands and silently bear all the torture.” Sanjay pulled open a drawer and swept the cutlery into it. He opened cupboards looking for something that could serve as breakfast.

“You don’t understand.”

“No.” Sanjay slammed the cupboard shut. He turned to her. “You are the one who doesn’t understand. You are the one who is making things complicated.”

Maya stood there twisting her fingers with a trapped expression on her face.

He sighed and led her to the dining table. He sat down across her. “Look Maya,” he said, softening his tone, “I know it’s not easy but you have to take a stand on this. But, it’s high time, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Sanjay drummed his fingers on the table. He raised his hand and gingerly lifted the floppy sleeve of her kurta. There was a big purple patch on her upper arm.

Maya flushed. She hurriedly pushed the sleeve down. “I banged it against the door,” she mumbled.

“Please Maya, don’t give me all that rot.”

“I love him. He is my husband. I can’t just walk off.”

“Why the hell can’t you? See, this is the problem with you Indian women. You create problems for yourselves. Always lying to yourselves. Always in denial.”

He walked out of the room returning with a packet of cigarettes and a lighter.

“I thought you had given up smoking?”

He lit up and took a deep drag.

“Tell me Maya. Make me understand. But don’t give me all that nonsense about loving him. Honestly, if you ask me, it’s all your fault.”

Maya sat with her head bowed.

“Come on Maya.” Sanjay paced the floor restlessly. “Tell me, where is the problem? You are educated. You hold a good job. You are financially secure. All the laws of the country are with you women.” He ticked them off one by one on his finger. “Walk out. File an FIR. Apply for divorce and that’s it.”

He came and stood beside her but she refused to look up.

He pulled out a chair and sat down. “Just think of it Maya – freedom, peace and your life is yours again – don’t you want that?”

Maya looked at him with helpless, tear-filled eyes. “But it’s not so simple.”

Sanjay’s chair scraped gratingly. “Now you are getting on my nerves. For heaven’s sake, show some spine. Walk out before things become worse.” He stubbed out his cigarette.

“You are saying that because you can’t see the big picture.”

“So show me.” He sat down again.

Maya scrubbed her face and blew her nose. “Even if I ignore the fact that I am emotionally dependent on him – ,” her voice wobbled and she trailed off.

Sanjay groaned and buried his head in his hands.

Maya cleared her throat and began again, “I have to think about the practicalities.”

“Yeah, let’s talk about the practicalities. House, car, maid.” He listed briskly. “Today nothing is a problem if you have money. With your remuneration package, that should not be an issue. You don’t even need financial support from Aditya.”

“I don’t have any money.”

“What do you mean?”

Maya fiddled with a spoon. “When we got married three years ago,” she paused, “you know we had a love marriage?”

Sanjay nodded.

“My family was against the marriage because he was not well off. They cut me off when I went against their wishes and eloped with him. Adi was very upset for my sake and determined to make it big. He wanted to buy a house and show my parents that they had misjudged him.

“So we decided that one of our salaries would be used for the monthly expenses while the other would be our savings, which would be used to purchase a house, pay off loans and stuff.” She looked down.

“And obviously, his salary was saved while yours was used for the monthly expenses,” he completed for her. “But the car loan that you took from the office, that is being deducted from your salary isn’t it?”

“Well, I needed the car. Aditya takes the Metro.”

“How much money do you have in your account right now?”

“Maybe around ten thousand rupees? It’s nearing the end of the month.”

“And how much money in his account?”

“I don’t know. Mine is a joint account but not his. It has only recently struck me that while Adi knows my exact salary, my daily expenses, even the exact amount of money in my purse, I don’t know anything about his finances. What his salary is, what the investments are, I know nothing.”

“Unbelievable. How could you be such an idiot?”

Maya tried to smile but failed. “I was crazily in love with him and trusted him completely.” She bit her lip and looked away. “He was so sweet and caring. He insisted on taking care of the finances. He said he didn’t want to bother my pretty little head with such petty things. He didn’t like me talking to my friends…he said that he liked to have all my focus on him, only him.” She choked. “Because he was so possessive, I lost touch with all my friends. You are the only one I could think of – .”

“Damn the guy.” Sanjay swore. He clicked his fingers. “Fine, I will lend you the money. What do you need the money for? Renting a house right? About one lakh should do the trick,” He raised his hand and silenced her. “You can pay me back later,” he waved his hands, “whenever, not a problem. Okay?”

Without waiting for a response, he opened the Sunday Times. He took out the classified section and began skimming it. “One room studio apartment near the office would be ideal.”

“Sanjay.”

“Now what?”

“What about Chavvi?”

“What about her?” He looked blankly at her.

“You just don’t get it, do you?” Despair was clearly written on her face. “She is just two years old. How can I take care of her and manage a job all alone? You know I have to travel a lot.”

“Who takes care of her now?”

“There is a part-time help. But she does everything under my mother-in-law’s supervision. I couldn’t think of leaving her alone with the maid.” Maya’s face was pale and pinched. “Besides, she is unreliable. She often comes late and is frequently absent.” She turned to Sanjay and appealed, “How will I manage alone?”

“Aren’t there crèches or something?”

“Yes, but it’s not a practical option for Chavvi. She is too young. Besides she has a delicate constitution. The doctor too advised against it. Plus, with the amount of travel I do,” Maya shook her head decisively, “that is not an option.”

“Call your parents to stay with you.”

Maya tried to speak but no words came out. She drank some water. “They are not with me in this,” she finally managed to say. “ ‘You made your choice, it was your decision, now deal with it’ – that’s what they say whenever I try to say something.”

“Okay, how about contacting some NGO?”

“I did try,” she said tonelessly. “The lady at the other end listened patiently to my problems and then said ‘best if you try to adjust’.”

“How about a working women’s hostel?”

“None of them have any provision for housing a child.”

Sanjay fiddled with his phone.

“I know.” He clicked his fingers. “File a complaint with the police.” He pointed to her arm. “That’s a case for domestic violence, the police will come and arrest your husband, maybe even mother-in-law. My friend’s sister,” he tapped his phone, “did exactly that.”

“And then?”

“Then what? You and your daughter continue to stay on minus the monsters, that’s what.” His eyes glittered triumphantly.

“But what about when they get bail? They will come home right? What if he hits me again? Should I go to the police again?”

“Of course. That’s what the law is for. But don’t worry it won’t come to that. One brush with the law, and the worst of them straighten up. Happened with my friend’s sister, they are now living happily together.”

“Everyone is not the same.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know the first time Adi raised his hand at me, I threatened to call the police. You know what happened? He became even more violent call the police will you? Then may as well hit you to my heart’s content, after all they can arrest me only once. And for how long – a few days, weeks? When I come out of jail, you cannot even imagine what I will do to you and your daughter. You have no place to run to – even your parents have disowned you. He laughed maniacally and thrashed me with his shoe.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

Sanjay was horrified. “I guess you didn’t call the police?”

“Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. He took away my phone and locked me in the room. I could hear Chavvi crying in the other room the whole night. In the morning, they let me go to her, as she was running a fever. They threatened me that if I breathed a word about this to anybody, they would get a doctor to certify that I was mentally ill. They would put me in a mental asylum. Take me away from my daughter…” Maya broke down.

“They are bluffing.”

“Perhaps. But I cannot take the risk. Not at my daughter’s cost.”

“But this…this isn’t acceptable. There must be some solution. File a case, demand alimony, child maintenance, bleed the &*%^#$ dry, make him grovel.” Sanjay pounded his hand on the table.

Maya looked at him sadly. “You still don’t get it do you? He wants a divorce. He wants to marry that woman. But he wants me to be the one to walk out so that he can file for desertion. I have no money, no place to go and I will lose my daughter too. He has money, power, contacts on his side. He will do anything to get rid of me without having to shell out any court fees or alimony using Chavvi as the bait.” She shuddered.

“So let him keep Chavvi. After all, he is the father and his mother is capable of looking after her. There are lots of PG hostels for girls. I can immediately arrange for you. Should I?” he asked eagerly.

“Are you crazy? How can I leave Chavvi at the mercy of those monsters? I would rather kill her myself.”

Sanjay looked at her in horror.

“That’s why I came here. To ask if you knew this other woman. Does she know that he is married? What kind of a person is she? Would she back off if I talked to her? At least then he wouldn’t be so desperate to get rid of me. He knows that I am due for a salary hike.”

“That means you will continue to stay in this hell hole? What about Chavvi? Such a home environment cannot be good for her.”

“At least she has a home.” Maya got up. “I better go. Will you find out about the woman?”

He nodded slowly.

“Thanks.” She paused at the door. “Isn’t it ironic that I apparently belong to the privileged 2% of the women of this country.” She smiled mirthlessly. “All the anguish, humiliation, and suffocation that I feel are nothing compared to the disgust I feel for myself.”

A cold clammy sensation enveloped Sanjay. “How can you bear to go back there?” The words seemed to be wrung out of him.

Maya drew herself up. “Don’t worry, I won’t kill myself. Because you see, I don’t matter. Chavvi matters.”

So what did you think? What are her options? Look forward to reading your comments, suggestions, solutions  – thanks. Click here for more short stories.