Party Venue

20171125_105805The perfect getaway for some catch up time with friends on warm sunny winter mornings 🙂

Linked to Becca’s Sunday Trees

Are You Complicit?

Complicit has been adjudged the word of the year, as it is the most searched for word online at Dictionary.com. The article is an interesting read and gives a comprehensive overview of some of key events of the year 2017.

After the 2015’s unbelievable word of year and the depressing post-truth in 2016, I find myself quite enamored with complicit.

Complicit according to Dictionary.com means “choosing to be involved in an illegal or questionable act, especially with others; having partnership or involvement in wrongdoing.” That means I can safely exclude me you and most others. So why would I ask if you (or I) were complicit? I mean we have not chosen to be involved in any illegal act have we?

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines complicit as “helping to commit a crime or do wrong in some way.”

Choosing is an act of commission but in some way is a more loose/vague phrase and may include an act of omission as well. And that is what complicity is all about – omission or as Dictionary.com elaborates: “Or, put simply, it means being, at some level, responsible for something . . . even if indirectly.”

And therein lies the strength and beauty of the word – in its connotation. Simply looking the other way could make you complicit. It is a word that that ropes in everyone standing on the sidelines, it points fingers, grabs us by the collar and demands to know: Why are you silent? Why are you COMPLICIT?

Complicit brings to the fore what we have always been taught since school: “Forget not that the grossest crime is to compromise with injustice and wrong. Remember the eternal law: you must give, if you want to get.” Subhas Chandra Bose

Yet like all lessons this too needed to be brushed up and reiterated. And we need to be shaken out from our stupor, our chalta hai attitude and speak out. We are a certified argumentative lot so why don’t we speak out more?

It is time that we stood up and be counted. Be that ‘faceless’ society in whose name today honor killings and other atrocities against women continue to be committed. It is time to stop blaming the victim and call out the real perpetrators – her parents for being responsible for dowry deaths and bride burning.

It is time to call them out, shift them from the victim category and lump them along with the killers. Why are only in-laws being booked? Why not the parents too? The in-laws can demand, deprive, torture and murder the bride only because her parents are complicit. If they weren’t, then they would have taken her away at the first instance of threat and injustice. With an assured safe house, no girl would feel the need to commit suicide or strangle her own daughter.

But unfortunately, not many parents do that, do they? Once she is married, their responsibility ends. They have done their duty, fed her clothed her, educated her, gotten her married and sent her off with due pomp and ceremony to her real home, her paradise on earth. They are more than happy and relieved to be free of their burden and more than ready to reap the benefits of their good karma.

Wait. What if there is trouble in paradise?

Well what could they do? They were poor, old, incapable and bechare. They didn’t make the rules the society did and if everyone could follow the rules so could she. It was now time for her to pay her parents back for their sacrifice, do her duty, be the ‘good girl’ and shoulder her own burden. Silently.

Besides, if it was her destiny to be an educated, qualified six-figure earning 21st century slave, what could her parents do except shed unhappy tears, keep fasts and pray?

Fiction? No. Just the unpleasant, painful, disturbing reality of many a woman in India. One that we prefer to look away from, blame her and think of other safer comfortable things. But like Luvvie Ajayi says in her amazing TED talkLet’s get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

While skydiving she realized that “comfort is overrated. Because being quiet is comfortable. Keeping things the way they’ve been is comfortable. And all comfort has done is maintain the status quo. So we’ve got to get comfortable with being uncomfortable by speaking these hard truths when they’re necessary.” Like she says, “And in a world that wants us to whisper, I choose to yell.”

As do I. If aging infirm parents can sue their sons and the government mobilized to enact a law that makes it a legal obligation for children and heirs to provide better and safe living conditions for them why can’t similar provisions be made for daughters trapped in unhappy marriages?

Well, why are you so silent?

Are you ready to call a spade a spade or if you like fairy tales, call the naked emperor naked?

Are you going to speak up? Stop existing in isolation? Take sides? Make a difference, and leave the world a little bit better than it was?

 Or would you prefer to be complicit?

 Your choice, their lives.

***

 

# 7 of 7 Day B&W Photo

It’s the last day of the 7 Day B&W Photo challenge but don’t think you’ve seen the last of me 😀

“Since when,” he asked,
“Are the first line and last line of any poem
Where the poem begins and ends?
Seamus Heaney

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Imprisoned –

me in you

you in me

Thank you all for your indulgence and patience – wish you all a wonderful weekend 🙂

For links to the previous posts click here:

Day 1 

Day 2 

Day 3 

Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

 

# 6 of 7 day B&W Photo

Ganesh

The worst feeling isn’t about being lonely but about being forgotten by the person whom you can’t forget.” Anonymous

That’s rather sad isn’t it? But then life is all about perspective isn’t it?

Image result for discarded quotes

Have a great day 🙂

For links to the previous posts (and to read about the challenge) click here

Day 1 

Day 2 

Day 3 

Day 4

Day 5

 

 

# 5 of 7 B&W Photo

Day 5 of the 7 day 7 B&W challenge no people no explanation – you can read more about it here: Day 1 Day 2 & Day 3 & Day 4

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“I don’t count my sit-ups; I only start counting when it starts hurting because they’re the only ones that count.” Muhammad Ali

1000+ Love Quotes on Pinterest | Love Yourself, Relationships and ...

 

Hope you liked the photo and thank you for visiting. If you wish to join the challenge, be my guest! thumbs up

 

Have a wonderful day 🙂

 

# 4 of 7 B&W Photo

For those who have just dropped in, I am doing the (self) modified version of the 7 day 7 B&W photo challenge. Today I have chosen to present the photo of an old building zoomed through the trees from the sixth floor. It reminded me of an aging desolate and lonely character and somehow prescient of many a future.

20171125_130456.jpgAs we age, aching and hurting from our myriad life experiences and fading memories of the idealism, passion and enthusiasm of those days, we take it upon ourselves to advise and guide youngsters.  Often we are the ones who enchain them and weight them down and restrain them from reaching higher.

But as Charlotte Brontë wrote in Jane Eyre: “I do not think, sir, you have any right to command me, merely because you are older than I, or because you have seen more of the world than I have; your claim to superiority depends on the use you have made of your time and experience.

How true!

Similarly I cannot help but agree with H.L. Mencken  who said: “The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

This is quite in contrast to the general prevalent notion (at least in India) that the older generation knows best and youngsters should always defer to their superior sense and sensibilities. But having crossed the hill I think I can safely say that this is definitely not true. We have also bumbled our way through (I know I have!) and often have not learned anything worthwhile on the way. And it is just by pure luck that we have reached a position where we consider ourselves worthy and deserving of the privilege of handing out notes and tips on how to live life.

Possibly with disastrous consequences.

It is my belief that have-been players, should stay in the shadows, watching, willing to offer support but only if asked for. The youth, like us, must be given the freedom and scope to make their own mistakes, chart their own paths. And perhaps most importantly stop living our lives vicariously through our children.

Does that mean it is our kismet to wait in the sidelines, waiting for someone to drop in and grant a moment of their time? On the contrary!

Now is the time to dust up those forgotten memories, brush up hidden hopes and desires and live life as we once wanted to.

No matter how old you are now. You are never too young or too old for success or going after what you want. Here’s a short (edited) list of people who accomplished great things at different ages

1) Issac Newton wrote Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica at age 24

2) Albert Einstein was 26 when he wrote the theory of relativity

3) J.K. Rowling was 30 years old when she finished the first manuscript of Harry Potter

4) Martin Luther King Jr. was 34 when he wrote the speech “I Have a Dream.”

5) Mark Twain was 40 when he wrote “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer”, and 49 years old when he wrote “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn”

6) Suzanne Collins was 46 when she wrote “The Hunger Games”

7) Charles Darwin was 50 years old when his book On the Origin of Species came out.

8) Dr. Seuss was 54 when he wrote “The Cat in the Hat”.

9) J.R.R Tolkien was 62 when the Lord of the Ring books came out.

Pablo

I plan to be the 10th on the list 😉 Or will you beat me to it? 😀

On your marks

Get set

Go!

I am not challenging anyone but do feel free to join in if you so wish 🙂

Just in case you wish to visit the earlier posts on this challenge, here are the links:

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Thanks for visiting and your lovely little note 😀

#3 of 7 B&W Photo

It’s Day 3 of the no explanation no people 7 day B&W photo challenge. Simple right? But me being me – I had to go and complicate it 😀

I never knew anybody . . . who found life simple. I think a life or a time looks simple when you leave out the details.” ― Ursula K. Le Guin, The Birthday of the World and Other Stories

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Right left

straight

up down

and

sideways

she tried

her hand

at everything

believing

knowing

that one day

even fate

would give in.

Thank you Orange for nominating me – people please do check out her awesome blog and selection although I have to confess this one is my favorite and not just because it breaks the rules 😉

If you are worried and upset at having missed my earlier posts on this challenge here are the links 😀

Day 1

Day 2

Have a great day and see ya tomorrow!