TGADF

Nope that’s not a typo error. It’s just me in denial. I just finished binge watching the web series with a growing despair – either I am not Indian or I don’t know my family. Since I hold an Indian passport and I refuse to believe that I don’t know my family (well err actually I am having doubts) I re-christened the series to The Great Alien Dysfunctional Family. I did think of passing it on to some other country of our world but couldn’t believe it of them either (nor did I want to risk getting sued) hence an alien unknown unbelievable and completely what the family (or dare I say – story).

Okay so have you watched it? If not then read on ahead at considerable risk (aka spoiler alert) for there’s no saying what I might reveal under the garb of a bit of venting and ranting.

Getting the important part out of the way first, Barun was Samar, not BS not ASR just Samar (and it’s not BS fault that Samar is so…so Samar but for that you can blame the script) and you can watch the series for him or Kay Kay who was mind blowing as was the little boy. The others i.e. the women characters didn’t sit too well with me mostly because (yep forgive me for the partiality) of the characters they were playing were so… okay more on that later.

What really got my goat (as usual) was the plot. It looked as if the writers had a story line – literally. One single line (or three if you like short sentences) and once the concept was accepted, they scrambled to pad it up with this and that (while under the influence of all the intoxicants procured for the characters) hoping that the actors would see them through – sigh.

So what’s the story?

Final spoiler alert! Stop if you havent seen The Great Indian Dysfunctional Family and have plans to see it.

Well you have been warned…

One cranky bitter disillusioned withdrawn (standard Indian) hubby (Vikram) and a long-suffering loving deprived wife (Geeta) who in a moment of weakness turns to younger (more handsome?) brother-in-law for comfort. He rises to the occasion (err no pun intended but if it works…) and obliges his bhabhi with the kind of support his brother should have been giving her. Morning brings sanity and he runs away to Mumbai deserting the Army to become a cook. He breaks all contact from everyone, including his mom for 8 years and one fine day decides to return (with a nosy wife in tow) to celebrate the wedding of a neighbor’s daughter.

Okay so I know that’s more than 3 short sentences but then I am a rambler but to get back on track – what really got my goat?

A big party is on and there is only one loo? With two girls inside (with a guy flitting in an out) – just to smoke dynamite? Why not outside – there didn’t seem to be any naysayers.

Samar returns home after 8 years with his wife in the dead of the night and has the house keys? Okay so I am nitpicking…

Overjoyed to see her son the mom runs to greet him and trip on a step, which Vikram is a golden-hearted (albeit khadoos) mamma’s boy who couldn’t be bothered to repair and Samar (the deserter) has the audacity to taunt – ‘Abhi tak theek nahi karaya?’

Toh tu kara deta…

Aditi (the ghar ki beti) is a self-proclaimed lesbian who knows she will always be a lesbian at 18 years of age and despite that a guy is madly (Truly?) in love with her.

Perhaps he’s just a pervert or desperate or both…

The treating doctor (with a couch) asks Aditi to ‘tell all’ in front of her father. Unbelievable.

May have just as well asked the mute boy (Mridul), who was smarter than the rest and knew at 7 years of age about Aditi. And informs his mother that he knew (that his sister was a lesbian) in sign language.

The boy was mute and apparently he could hear everything and understand arguments over his parentage and also knew about the sexual preferences of his elder sister. All at 7 years of age.

And by the way a little fact check – children are rarely ‘just mute’ they are usually both deaf and mute. Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder triggered in people with normal speech by selective situations or people. I was rather hoping that the boy had witnessed something that made him mute – but it turned out that he was just a prude unable to accept his parentage…

Which brings me to the point about the non-point of making the child just bol nahi sakta. Or was it ‘create’ a situation so that Kay Kay Menon could show off his histrionic skills? Surely there were other logical ways to do so? Oops sorry I forgot, yahan bhi logic tel lene gayi….

Maid ko pata hai ki yahan par landslides nahi hota par Vikram ko nahi pata?

Uska bhi toh ghar yahin par hai, dimaag bhi satka hua tha, why did he not blast them and drive past the non-existent landslide while returning from a party where his daughter had broken his best friend’s daughter’s wedding and publicly come out of the closet.

And for God’s sake (I swore I would not ‘behakaoed’ by the series and use the F word) which dhabha does a waiter keep cleaning under a charpoy in the dead of night while customers are sitting on it?

Vikram is another character – the quintessential ‘good responsible self-sacrificing’ elder brother who goes off to face the bullets to save his brother who’s not so fond of such games because he is family. But when he gets to know his beloved wife and brother have both betrayed him, what does he do? He insists on a DNA test (where the child is dragged off somewhere). I don’t get it – wouldn’t he still be family?

But then I don’t get so many things.

Like how quickly Vikram learnt the sign language.

Vikram says sorry to his wife (after being cuckolded by his brother and wife) and yet it’s Sonali (Samar’s wife) who throws a major hissy fit?

Chill girl – like Samar said, it happened much before her. And wasn’t she the open-broadminded kinds? Inciting Aditi to follow her heart, accepting his family as hers in one visit, be able to diagnose a whisky with one whiff and a sniff, emit gaalis at the drop of a hat and wear non-existent shorts?

Am I guilty of judging her by her clothes? Okay then how about the scene at the bar where she flirted so heavily with another guy plastering herself all over him. Tab toh Samar ne usko kuch nahi bola? Aur ab toh shaadi bhi ho chuki thi…

Btw I am intensely curious about the serious patient – kya smell karwana tha every 10 sec while the nurse went to ‘call’ the doctor? I hope he survived for no matter how much I racked my brains only chloroform came to mind. Waise I was very disappointed with Geeta – nothing short of dereliction of duty. Vikram was supposed to dose the patient while she was supposed to count 10 seconds on her watch.

Oh I get it!

Ghadi lene jaa rahi hogi….

Time, you see, if of utmost importance.

Another thing I didn’t get is why did Sonali ask such an insensitive question about Mridul not being able to speak? And why did Geeta have to add that he was premature isliye? Why not say he’s been like that from birth?

Oh no no phir how could Sonali put two and two together and come up with 5 and later (much later) the correct ‘soldier.’ Have to admit loved her expression as she added it all up (with instinct rather than reason) all showing up tellingly on her face.

Sabse mahan sadasya ka vote toh Matashri ko jaana chahiye. Kyon? Vodka bhi, (weed) chai bhi (din main 4 cup) aur lucid bhi. Ya phir she couldn’t digest the fact that Samar poori raat apne kamre main wapas nahi aya tabhi vodka aur chai ki lat lag gayi.

Frankly, the poori raat was a bit too much for my sensibilities too….

Aur itna hi family hai, toh Vikram ne 8 years tak poocha bhi nahi ki Samar kyon achanak gayab ho gaya?

Never been gladder to have a series end.

Except…

One question keeps me still keeps me awake at night.

Aditi ne DU join kiya ki nahi? Last date toh nikal gayi hogi na?

Badi chinta ho rahi hai, shaadi ho na ho gay ho na ho kya farq padta hai – education is a must. Tabhi toh thoda bahut logic-shogic aayegi soch main. Hai ki nahi?

Mera rant yahin tak.

Ab aap ki baari….