An interview with ASR

KM: Hello ASR, so good of you to agree to this interview.

ASR: Yeah well, you didn’t leave me much choice did you?

KM: Excuse me?

ASR: Okay. Shoot.

KM: Excuse me!

ASR: I already did that. You may leave or be quick about this interview…

KM: Excuse…oops! I was just trying to understand your comment about leaving you no choice.

ASR: Yeah right! Act all innocent. Didn’t you cajole Khushi into bullying me…?

KM: Cough cough cough. Excuse me! Khushi can bully you? 😉

ASR: Are you interested in the interview or not?

KM: Yes cough yes of course. First of all, will you say Hi to your fans?

ASR: Fans? Like really? It’s been what 6 years since we set the screen on fire and public memory is notoriously short so what’s with all this fan business?

KM: ASR fans are different as are IPK fans – we never go out of fashion err fandom. Did you know that only your lives but also those of your kids are public news?

ASR: What the! Kiski itni himmat!

KM: Ab kya bataoon, some people have nothing better to do than gossip. But if you would like to know about your future life read this, err it’s a bit long, about 25 years long.

ASR: Excuse me! Why should I read about my life from someone else? May as well live it.

KM: Fine have it your way. But let me warn you there are several pitfalls in your life and if you want to retain the upper hand over KKGSR you better read it.

ASR: Khushi has the upper hand?

KM: You bet. Not always but mostly 😉

ASR: How dare she! Usko pata nahi hai ki main kabhi harta nahi?

KM: Apna dil bhi nahi?

ASR: Do you want that interview or not?

KM: Oh yeah even I am busy. How about that Hi to your fans?

ASR: Hi!

ASR: What the!

KM: Oh sorry the entire fandom just swooned slipped against me. I am fine now thank you. Will you tell us a little bit about the other ASR?

ASR: What the hell! Who’s the other ASR? Aarav?

KM: No! Don’t you know? Advay Singh Raizada.

ASR: Advay…who the hell is that?

KM: Strange! He’s a carbon copy of you except he sports a bush on his face, roams deserted landscapes lugging a guitar setting fire to…

ASR: Ohhh Addu! (He smirks)

KM: Addu?

ASR: He’s my cousin from Nani’s side. I called him Addu in retaliation for him calling me Chotte. (He snickers)

KM: What?

ASR: Addu is actually short for Adrak. (He guffawed) Adrak Singh Raizada.

KM: That’s really cool and interesting. Thanks for sharing. Will you tell us a bit about him?

ASR: I haven’t met him for years! In fact I thought he was dead. Is he really back?

KM: Yep definitely seems to be so. Although you never know with him – we saw fleeting glimpses of him last year or was it year before last but he vanished as soon as rumors of his sightings came to light but then poof!

ASR: Yep sounds like him! So he’s alive…interesting.

KM: Can you share any info about him? Anything would do for your fans?

ASR: My fans or Addu’s? (The eyebrow quirked)

KM: Yours of course ASR. They just want to know about the imposter before they allow him into their drawing rooms, dreams and desktops 😉 Tell us where was he’s been all these years.

ASR: He and I didnt have much scope for interaction except we did a couple of gigs together as children.

KM: Gigs?

ASR: Yeah you know those children competition/programs at local Diwali/holi functions. It was all Di’s idea and you know I couldn’t refuse her anything and I didn’t let Addu refuse me.

KM: This is great! Please go on.

ASR: There’s not much to tell. He played the guitar and I played the drums. It was going well when he turned around and blamed me for not keeping pace when it he who was flubbing…

KM: Phir?

ASR: Phir kya tha one thing led to another and we ended up with a smashed guitar and drums. That was the last time I played drums.

KM: No wonder you played so well with Aarav!

ASR: Is your interview done?

KM: No! Just a couple of more questions. Addu is a scientist…

ASR: Oh is he? Interesting. Scientist eh? Dammit I should have guessed!

KM: Why do you say that?”

ASR: He was always fiddling around doing this and that and one day, disaster struck.

KM: What?

ASR: He ejected himself into space. There was no news of him for years and then slowly bits and pieces trickled down. He was safe and sound – mostly because of the guitar that was strapped on his back when he exited Earth.

KM: Exited Earth! Where on earth was he?

ASR: I just told you – he wasn’t on Earth. He was on Mars.

KM: Oh Mars! That explains it!

ASR: What?

KM: The visuals we have been getting. Vast, never-ending expanses of dry cracked lands aur door door tak koi nahi. Can’t understand the cracked mirrors though…

ASR: Cracked mirrors?

KM: And fire. And an old haveli…

ASR: I wonder if he is back on Earth? At Sheesh Mahal…

KM: Does he have a claim on Sheesh Mahal? I thought that was your father’s…

ASR: Yeah but I bought it and who knows he may have some childhood secrets buried in its gardens too. Are you done? I am not exactly free you know…

KM: Of course not! I understand but I hope you wont object to a future interview.

ASR: Let me know if you find out more about…

KM: Oh there is one more thing. He has been spotted burning a young girl’s photo.

ASR: Doesn’t bother me. He always liked playing with fire. And look where he ended up – at Mars.

KM: She looked a bit like Khushi….gasp choke, gasp sorry…wheee whoosh gasp…

I barely escaped with my life – sheesh the things I do to get you Khulasas and nary a word of thanks leave alone a kind word.

Humphh…